To Whom It May Concern:
My name is Rachel and I'm applying to be on MTV True Life with a seriously compelling life story- I've stuffed my face with junk food for every meal nearly every day this week. I work from home so I don't have the typical judgement from colleagues that might prevent me from being a major fatty day in and day out.
It all started innocently enough- I bought an individual serving of cake from the grocery store one night when I was feeling particularly decadent, and enjoyed it at home. I thought that was the end of it.
But it wasn't the end. The next day, there I was at the store, loading up my cart with brownies, fudge frosting, ice cream, chips, and anything else I could think of in the junk food category. And I've been eating these delicious food substitutes in lieu of regular meals for days now. And I have to say- I couldn't feel better.
All my cravings for brownies and cakes have been satisfied, and my usual salt fiend behaviors have abated because my diet is now chock full of the sodium packed foods I always crave. I can't wait to spread the word on this amazing new diet!!
EDITOR'S NOTE: Rachel's application for MTV True Life was rejected because she passed out at the live audition due to malnutrition and hyperglycemia. We do not recommend ever following the junk food diet at home.